Monday, 9 January 2017

HEALTH AND WELLBEING | I joined the gym!

Good morning everyone and happy Monday (if there is such a thing!) Hope you all had a lovely weekend, mine was pretty chilled out but I did go and join the gym finally, eek!

If you follow me on social media you will know I have said I would be joining it (so this post won't come as much of a surprise) but you will also know I said how anxious the gym makes me. I can't put my finger on the reason why, it just does. I think I just feel so out of place there and so self concious. Even when I went for my induction yesterday,  I could feel myself becoming rigid as I got towards the doors to walk into the gym.

Being in a gym, for me, is like being at a party I wasn't invited to. My brain convinces me that I shouldn't be there and that everyone in there working out is looking at me and thinking the same. If I am unsure of how to use a machine I get nervous and then get clumsy making it look more obvious that I don't know what I am doing. Once again my brain tells me that people are watching and thinking:

'What on earth is she doing here?'

Stupid anxiety!

The difference with me now is I know they are all thoughts and not reality. I know that I don't have to believe every thought that pops into my head and really, is anyone actually looking at me? I know I'm not looking at anyone else that's for sure so I bet no one else has even noticed me. And if they have so what? Worst case scenario if someone is looking at me and judging me then do I really care? It says more about that person than me.

I am really looking forward to this new happiness journey I am subjecting myself to in 2017. I am looking forward to feeling the mental effects the gym will have on me as well as the physical effects of getting fitter and stronger.

Please stick with me on this new path, especially if you are in the same boat as me and are wanting to make this year a happier and healthier one too. Yes, of course I want to shift some weight in the gym too but my main goal is to be happy and content. Any work out tips will be gratefully received though and thanks to everyone who has given me advice and support so far, it really means a lot.

I will keep you posted as to how I am doing on here and as have I previously mentioned, I will be launching a mental health and wellbeing blog very soon too. In the meantime I micro blog a lot of my health and habits on Instagram if you want to give me a little follow. (NickiKinickie)

Till next time, have a great day!


Friday, 6 January 2017

MENTAL HEALTH | My new blog is coming soon!

Hello! Happy Friday!

I just wanted to write a quick post to let you know that my new project for 2017 is a mental health and wellbeing blog called 'Headcase'. I have ummed and ahhed for a while now about how to encorporate writing about it all into my blog then decided a separate blog was a much better idea! That way it is all in one place for people to find. This blog stays as a lifestyle blog and anything to do with mental health  / wellness / mindfulness / happiness and all in between can go on there.

I am so so excited to get this blog up and running (which will hopefully be February) and am drafting up blog posts ready for when it properly goes live.

Last year was my biggest learning curve regarding mental health, anxiety and depression. I really learnt a lot and I feel like a completely different person to the one I was at this point last year. It is all still a working progress but I feel more and more positive every day. I know I can be stronger than my anxiety and depression. I want to write about my experiences and my opinions, firstly as a bit of a journal for myself but also to help others. If I can help one other person in despair like I was I would feel so very happy.

So keep your eyes peeled for my new blog coming very soon!

Follow me on TWITTER / INSTAGRAM / GOOGLE+ to hear when it is up and running - @NickiKinickie

Or search me on Facebook - Nicki Kinickie to keep updated.

Hope everyone first days back at work weren't too bad and that you all have a lovely weekend! x

Tuesday, 3 January 2017

LIFE | My First Ever New Years Resolution



Hello, Happy New year! I hope you had a wonderful time celebrating whatever you did. We had close friends (practically family) over to stay and ate, drank and sang our way into the new year. It was so much fun! The kids all enjoyed it too and were well behaved despite staying up so late. There wasn't a grisly child in sight. On new years day we wrapped up warm and braved the cold and rain for a walk on Wells beach (we are crazy!) it was so lovely though! The sea air made us all feel so much better and afterwards we went for fish and chips to soak up the last of New Years Eve's alcohol.

Needless to say, we were all pretty tired by the evening and when our friends set off home about 6ish New Years Day we locked up, got our PJ's on and snuggled up in bed watching TV. It was bliss!

I am not usually a big lover of New Year resolutions especially regarding diet or anything, I think it is too easy to get caught up in the whole 'new year, new me' crap and try to aim to do too much thus finding it all too overwhelming come February and nine times out of ten, failing. Call me cynical but it's true. That being said, I do love the feeling of a new year. Out with the old and in with the new. A time to reflect on the year just gone, good times and bad, any lessons we have learnt and focus on what we would like to achieve in the coming 12 months.

For me, I simply want to be healthier and happier. That is all. I am not setting myself an unrealistic goal by throwing out all the food that's in the cupboard in favour of sachet meal replacements. I just need to be healthier. Yes that does involve a lot of changes, some that most would consider overwhelming - including myself - but I intend on making it a long term lifestyle change so there is no expiry date. I plan on joining the gym at the end of the week and have just done our first food shop of the year which is full of healthy and nutritious food. Over the next month I plan on easing the gym into my weekly routine and cut down on portion sizes rather than go at it hammer and tong and be fed up within two weeks. The healthy eating part isn't an issue for me, I love healthy food, it is the portion size.

"For me, I simply want to be healthier and happier."


My main goal though is to be happy, hence the exercise and healthy food. It isn't a secret that exercise helps boost your mood and makes you feel better mentally, as does good food. You are what you eat after all. Most importantly I want to do positive things with my life this year. Stress less about all the little shitty things that get in the way (most of them can't be controlled anyway so why worry about them?) Focus on my thoughts more often so I am aware when negative thoughts are creeping in and do more things that I enjoy and that scare me (the gym being one of them) if we stay in our comfort zone then we never really go anywhere do we?

I want to join the gym to get fit and look and feel good of course but mainly, I want to go because I know it will make me feel good inside.

There will be times that I will feel unmotivated and there will be times I really don't want to work out, but last year taught me that it is pushing through the toughest days that make you the strongest. When I felt low and like I wanted to give up I didn't, I pushed through. I crumpled those bad thoughts and forced myself to do things that made me feel better and made those thoughts shrink. Like most things, diet and exercise is always easy to follow on the good days, it is the tough days which shape and teach us. I will force myself to work out even more so on days where I don't want to because those are the days I will benefit from it most.