Monday, 28 January 2013

Internet dating

I have had several conversations with different close friends over the last six months or so about internet dating; whether or not it is a good idea to try it out and if you do, does that make you look a bit desperate? Sad? Or does it in fact make you appear hungry to meet new people and go out and take on a different aspect to the dating world?

Two close girl friends of mine have either been thinking about it or have done it after realising they are just not meeting the kind of men they want to in their daily lives whether it be at work or socially and after years of having fun, dating and failed relationships they have come to realise they want more from life and would like to meet someone who wants to settle down like they do. Meeting someone in a nightclub has long lost it's appeal when you reach 28 as you have learnt every pick up line, every trick of the trade and basically who to avoid (which is most people who chat you up). Glancing around the sweaty dark club only to be greeted by the  bash street kids leering back at you can actually be quite soul destroying especially when one of them decides your general look in their direction gives them the green light to make their way over and grind at you in a way that can only be described as 'Mr Bean-esque.' Taxi!!

Don't get me wrong, I know people can meet in night clubs, swap numbers and live happily ever after. I just know that realistically it isn't very likely. NONE of my friends who are settled down, engaged or married met that way. I have only ever known one person who met their now husband in a club and I have met a lot of people. No, unless you are looking for a quick ego boost, the best way to meet someone is usually through someone that you know and respect as you tend to like the same people as close friends you have a lot in common with. That is how most of the people I know got together, either that or meeting through college, university or work (although I have dated work colleagues naively and it was a disaster so tread carefully with that one!)

So, if you don't work with any potential love interests nor do any of your friends know of anyone you can be set up with, what does that leave you with?

One good friend of mine has been on about five dates through a dating website and loves it. She is very confident and also knows what she wants from a man and has enjoyed getting to know someone online first before meeting them as she feels it saves going on one of those awkward dates where you end up with nothing in common and nothing to talk about. She has also enjoyed the different dating experiences. My other friend who is seriously thinking about doing it is quite shy so feels the online 'getting to know you' part would be benficial in helping with her confidence and also likes the idea of the different dating scenarios, meeting new people even if there isn't any romance first off and I guess, just building up  her confidence. It is a great idea to date someone you don't know and won't see again so you don't have to worry about it going horribly wrong or embarassing yourself! It is also nice to meet new people from a different walk of life to yours.

So what do we think? Have you met someone online and now live happily ever after with them? Or maybe you met your spouse in a club and I am completely wrong in my theory on that. I know a few people who have met and fallen in love with someone they met through online dating so I don't think it is a bad thing at all. I think it is the same as meeting someone in a bar and getting chatting, it is just a modern, cyber version of it!

Is it still thought of as bit of a taboo thing? Do we still imagine the only people who date online have something wrong with them? Can't form relationships with people in the real world? Or have we finally moved on from this now that social networking is so popular and now there are so many sites to choose from?

I would love to know your thoughts!

4 comments:

  1. I'm all for internet dating, and have been for most of my adult life really. Actually, I met my fiancé online and we are getting married in 8 weeks :) xo

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    1. Aw wow congrstulations!!!! :) hope the preps going well!!
      I agree, I think it is a good thing so long as people are sensible and realistic!! In this busy world it is a great way find romance.

      Good luck with ur big day :)

      Xx

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  2. I tried Internet dating after having my heart broken a few years ago; I didn't want to meet anyone but thought it was a good way of passing the never-ending hours at home on my own and would get me some confidence back. However, after about 2-weeks online, I deleted my account and I was just being left totally freaked out by some of the messages I was getting. For every one nice message, I'd get maybe two or three from men that were either odd, downright rude, or disgusting.

    I met my fella in a pub when I was totally not looking for a relationship, it took us 8 months to actually go on a date and it turned out that we knew all the same people anyway! I think love has a funny way of getting the right people to meet each other, it just takes faith and sometimes a bit of time.

    xx

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    1. What a lovely post. I have the same outlook on love, you will find that person even if u have to go down a few wrong paths. I can imagine the creepy messages!! They are mainly good ppl out there tho thankfully :)

      Xx

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Nicki

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