Monday, 8 April 2013

#sorrynotsorry

The older I am getting, the less I feel I am able to tolerate.

I am definitely a very different person to who I was at 20 in looks, style and attitude. As the dreaded 3-0 birthday gets ready to rear it's ugly head in 2014, I wince at the idea I will no longer be a 'happy go lucky 20 something' I will be *GASP* 'In my THIRTIES' What is most scary about that is getting older in your thirties as no matter what stage you are in your twenties, you are still young, you are a 'twenty something'. You are young, hip, cool and free! You can do what you like and get away with it, wear what you want and get away with it. EAT what you want and get away with it (Well, I never have been able to do that but apparently that's right for some). Get to your thirties and all of a sudden you are classed as 'a bit too old to wear that' or 'a bit too old to do that'. ARGH!


However, despite having had these scary thoughts in my head for some time now, the closer I get to this milestone the more I am now thinking 'bring it on'. It is quite liberating how as time goes on and as you get older you become more comfortable in your own skin and with who you are. These days I find myself thinking 'what the hell' is the right answer for a lot more things than I used to and am also finding I care a lot less about what people think of me too (not in an arrogant way I just mean what narrow minded people think) If someone doesn't like what I am wearing or how I have done my make up then that's fine and if you want to tell me that you don't like what I am wearing or how I have done my make up then that is fine too, I am not going to be bothered by it or spend the rest of the day / evening  / event upset or worried I might not look nice. I have spent so much of my youth worrying about others opinions of me and sometimes it can really get you down most importantly though, ALL of the time it is a waste of time. 

I am no longer going to waste my precious time on people who are always going on about themselves or moaning about how difficult their life is or how hard they have got it (when in reality they haven't) they are just one sided friendships that suck the life out of you and make you feel pretty crap when in reality you could be having a wonderful time with true friends who want to know how you are and what you have been up to rather than just going on about themselves.

Turning 30 is going to be so much better than turning 20 - in fact I think the only great thing about being 20 was the number! At 20 I had not long left college, was in a job I hated with no idea what I should do next and no confidence to pursue my dreams. At 30 I am in a job I enjoy which allows me the time to run a home, blog and pursue my dream of becoming a writer. At 20 I was overweight, unhappy with how I looked and my wardrobe but now (and at 30) I am healthy, a good weight and know what I should and shouldn't eat - I also like my wardrobe a lot more because of that! I am married and live in a lovely home in a lovely village (I really don't want to jinx myself here!) and as much as there have been times in my 20's that have been really difficult, I feel I have come out of them smiling, fighting fit and ready for the next chapter in my life!

Your twenties are full of ups and downs as you figure out who you are and what you want from life, find someone you want to settle down with and even find true friends, work towards your dream job or study to pursue your dream job. I am hoping my thirties will be a lot more settled now that I know what path I want to go down and have found the person I want to travel down that path with. 

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately, thinking about different relationships with different people and about life in general. It really does fly past and it is too short and it isn't worth being around people or doing things that make you feel blue. There is so much to do and so much to see and wonderful, amazing people to do and see it with. I am still yet to turn 29 so all this 30 talk probably does seem a tad premature but it's coming! Before you know it you will be reading a post about my 30th birthday because that is how quickly life passes us by. It is already April, two more months and we will already be halfway through the 2013. 

I feel more confident than ever now and love that feeling of security - it is so true what they say about women coming into their element in their 30's and caring less the older you get. If I could bottle this feeling up and sell it I would! Especially to teenage girls who feel awkward and insecure in their own skin or think they aren't skinny enough or pretty enough.... I definitely do not miss those days! 

(Oh shit, my mother really was right about EVERYTHING!)

So, ladies - and men! - the point of this post? Embrace who you are. Look in the mirror and like what you see, there is only one of you after all. Aim for what you want and grab it with both hands and most of all, don't let anyone tell you that you can't.




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