Thursday, 9 January 2014

Is it ever acceptable to lie?

Image courtesy of Pinterest.

We are all guilty of telling the odd fib here and there, whether it is an excuse as to why we are late for an appointment or work or whether it is simply because it is easier than telling the truth. We have all done it, even you there looking down at your toes, there is no getting away from it! But is it always acceptable to lie?

I am talking white lies here people, not whopping great fibs that cause hurt. What circumstances would you say it is justified to lie in? Imagine you are in a changing room with a friend who tries on a dress she has spotted and fallen in love with. She eagerly tries on said dress, it looks dreadful. No part of the style or colour do her any favours at all, it doesn't suit her figure or colouring and she should remove it straight away before anyone actually see's her in it. Do you tell her? OK, you wouldn't say what I just wrote but you would carefully advise her it doesn't suit yes? What if she thinks it looks OK but just isn't sure and is waiting for you to give her the reassurance she desires to run to the tills purse in hand? Do you still crush her little soul then?

My theory is this; I would wanna know the truth. If the outfit doesn't suit then it doesn't suit, sadly not all dresses or trends or whatever suit everyone as we all come in different shapes and sizes and while this dress looks gorgeous on the hanger, it doesn't look so great now. It doesn't mean that you are hideous, fat or anything else it just means that dress is not for you and there is something else out there much better.

I bloody hate changing rooms. Writing about them is making me shudder, I associate them with shopping trips of stress and panic and desperately trying on garment after garment, huffing and puffing, boiling hot and trying to hold back tears. This is because I would only ever try anything on if I was out on a last chance saloon  'I am going to a big wedding / party / do tomorrow and the dress I wanted to wear is no longer available and oh crap I need to look amazing and need a new dress NOW' kind of shopping trip. 

What about a man your friend is seeing and is smitten over? You see him without her rose tinted gushy in lust glasses and can see he is actually messing her around a bit. She makes excuses for him cos she is so smitten and oblivious to what he is doing but you can see it. Do you tell her? Do you let her just find out on her own? This is tricky, unless she asks your opinion on their relationship I would probably wait it out and let him eventually show his true colours... or you never know he may surprise you and fall head over heels in love with her. I am terrible for not always biting my tongue. I love my friends so much and never want them to get hurt and some of them have had awful relationships with awful men. If they were after advice, questioning the relationship or anything along those lines I would always be honest but I would know that at the end of then day the choice was down to them.

What about the god awful gift your nan got you for Christmas? LIE. She wanted to buy you something to show she loves you, yes it may be hideous and she may have no clue about modern life and interests but neither will you one day.

What about that person you cannot stand in the office who is always going on about their personal life in every minute detail when you really couldn't care less. SMILE. NOD. LIE. You have to work with them at the end of the day and they're not doing anything wrong, just tell them you are super busy and end the conversation. Also pray they get moved to another floor.

What about when your goofy other half thinks they have been super romantic and helpful by washing up or hoovering for you or putting their stuff away or changing the loo roll when it is finished.(Someone suffers roll - a - phobia in my house and it ain't me!) When they look at you with puppy dog eagerness after saying 'I tidied / hoovered / washed up' you want to go 'YES. I DO THAT EVERY DAY AND YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE OR THANK ME.' But it is most definitely best to smile, nod and LIE. 'Aw, thank you baby. You're the best! What did I do to deserve you?'
Why? Ego massage  = they will do it again!!

Your quirky friend has just had the most extreme haircut you have ever seen which she loves but you hate it. What do you say? LIE. Just cause it isn't your cup of tea it doesn't mean you are right and she is wrong. If it suits her and she is happy then you should be happy too!

So, to summarise: Is it ever acceptable to lie? I would always say honesty is the best policy in most cases but if it saves opening up a can of worms or hurting someone's feelings when you really don't need to, the little white lie can be a great asset.


2 comments:

Thank you for taking the time to comment, it really means a lot to me to hear back from my readers! I always reply so be sure to stop back :)

Nicki

xx