On Thursday I will be 32 weeks pregnant and that means I will have 8 weeks until baby's due date.
When I write that down it feels as though it has gone very quick but I must admit this last bit does feel as though it is dragging slightly. I feel as though I have gone through every kind of emotion you can being pregnant; self doubt, worry, sadness, happiness, anticipation, eagerness, excitement, joy....there are so many! Now though, I am ready. I am also not liking feeling big or breathless and not liking the pelvic pain I get. Even sometimes baby's movements are painful now where it is getting bigger. I hate to moan, I know others suffer a lot more than me but because I am ready to have my body back to myself now, this last bit feels as though it is dragging it's heels a little.
That being said, eight weeks will of course fly - we all know that! We will all be gasping when it is time to put our clocks forward and excited when that first bit of hot sun hits our skin. Finishing work at the end of January guarantees that the last few weeks before it is due will speed by too as I will be busy getting last minute things together and enjoying resting my bones while I can.
One thing that hit me this weekend though was the fact that this means there is only 8 weeks left of just me and hubby. This cosy little marriage routine we are in and which I love is about to be turned upside down and it will never be the same again. We are in the calm before the storm. Don't get me wrong, we are both looking forward to the next chapter we are about to embark on even all the sleepless nights, the sick and the poo and the tantrums but there is a huge part of me that feels sad it will soon never be like this again. We have obviously made a pact that spending time together just us once baby is here is crucial for our marriage and we are both strong, independent people who like to be in charge but we also know that baby's needs come first and we have to do what is right for them. I do think it is important to remember who we are though and that we are people too not just 'Mum and Dad' and it is important for the child to know that too. We are lucky to have a lot of relatives waiting in the wings to babysit too, as this way we know we can have the odd 'date night' or even just a night in with eight hours sleep and make the most of our time together while baby is spending quality time with relatives.
Right now though, we are making the most of US. We had got very lax with eating dinners at the dining table towards Christmas - mainly due to the fact it is in the conservatory which gets cold so you have to remember to put the radiator on out there half hour before otherwise you feel as though you are in an ice cube! Because it has been so long though, from Monday night I have made sure we ate dinner as we used to. It has been lovely. The great thing about the dark nights is that we can have the fairy lights on and hubby also lit some candles last night, it is so cosy out there at this time of year. We have dinner, chat about our days and various other humdrum things just like we used to. Before we know it we have sat out there for forty minutes. Perfect.
I am going to make sure we do that every night now. In all honesty we should do it all the time anyway because it is better to eat your dinner that way (for your metabolism yo), it gives you time to sit and chat with each other AND we both enjoy it. Plus I want the littlun to grow up always remembering that they ate dinner at the table from when they first could.
Aside from that, we are also going to enjoy the simple things: Snuggling on the sofa after a long day. Lay ins on a Saturday. Being able to decide at the last minute that we want to go out. We are also going to enjoy our time together as a couple before that time becomes even more precious.
We have started reading a book together when we go to bed about first time parenting which I believe is a really good idea. I think both parents should read up on what is to come because not only are there some things to take into account that you wouldn't have even thought of, you can also discuss the points raised in the book together and get an understanding of what each other are probably going to feel like initially after becoming a parent. He read last night that I will feel basically like shit and will need reassuring from him I still look amazing even when covered in puke and wearing an old t-shirt with a flabby tum. I also read that I can't expect Dad to just do everything and that it is just as important for Dad to bond with the baby from the outset the same as the mother does. Reading it together reminds you you're in this together and that you are both equals in this relationship. Pregnancy is tough on men too, in a different way of course but it is. They have to constantly reassure you as you get bigger and help you. They listen to us winge about how we are tired and achy and feel rough. When they bump into friends or family they are asked straight away how their wife is feeling and not how they are. They feel useless most of the time because they know they can't take away the aches and pains when actually they are helping us out a million per cent just by being there. When hubby makes me a cuppa, gets me a blanket and lets me snuggle up on the sofa, that feels amazing. When he helps me get positioned in bed with my one million pillows, that too is amazing.
On new years eve I told him that no matter what happened in 2014 I wanted him to remember I loved him and appreciated him. I told him that of course, over the coming months with lack of sleep and whatever else we may snap a little at each other but that I wanted him to remember what I was telling him now. We are very vocal in our relationship and open with feelings so I think we will still tell each other how much we appreciate what each other does but it may just not be as often as it is now!
So, until March we are going to be making the most of this time as a twosome. Next week is hubby's birthday - his last one before becoming a Dad so we will do something special. After that it is just a case of seizing the moment and enjoying having the freedom of making a last minute choice that doesn't then take us an hour to prep and plan for.
Neither of us can wait for all the chaos that is to come but we are definitely enjoying the quiet beforehand.