Sunday, 2 March 2014

LIFE | 21 Signs You Need To Call It a Night.

Signs it is time for you to call it a night.
*Photo Source: Pinterest

It's Sunday morning and that means for many it is the morning after the night before.

Right now plenty of people are waking up, slowly opening one eye to assess where they are and try and fathom out how they got there. Cue the initial panic of:

"How did I get home?!"
"Where's my phone?!"
"Where's my money?!"
"Oh god did I really twerk on that table to Miley?"

All kinds of scary thoughts and flashbacks whir in your brain as you slowly try to rise up out of your pit and wait for the hangover train to hit you at top speed. Headache. Washing machine stomach. PAIN EVERYWHERE.

It is our way of letting our hair down after a tough working week and recharging for whatever the next ones brings. Every now and then though we can find ourselves going juuuuuust a little OTT with the pinot grigio the night before and then waking the morning after muttering the most overused and hollow statement of all time:

"I am NEVER drinking again."

So  when you are out on the town and in your element dancing with the toilet attendant, what are the signs that it is time for you to call it a night......and for your mates to call you a cab?

1) You have started talking in your own language that no one else understands.

2) Every song that comes on has some sentimental meaning that makes you want to stand on your own swaying and singing along with tears in your eyes.

3) You don't remember what you just said and precede to say it again......and then again.

4) You suddenly think the weird, creepy guy in the corner who has been looking at you and your friends all night is a good laugh and a good dancer *cue grinding up against him and creepy guy in his element*.

5) You love everyone.

6) You puke a little bit in your mouth..... then swallow.

7) You don't remember that you just got yourself another drink.

8) You can no longer stand properly, it is more a shuffle / stumble / sway on the spot.

9) You want to buy shots for everyone......or more, you want to peer pressure your friends in to drinking shots with you.

10) You don't remember that your mate you came out with went home two hours ago....

11) .... You also don't remember that your other mate didn't come out at all.

12) You fall over / bump into things and NOTHING hurts you.

13) You call everyone dude.....or bitch.

14) Your lipstick is now anywhere on your face but on your lips.

15) When people tell you it is time to get a cab you throw your best 'five year old strop: 'I DON'T WANT TO!!' 

16) Going to the toilet is a military operation especially if you are in jeans (impossible to balance and pull up) or a bodycon dress (impossible to pull the right part down).

17) You suddenly believe you are THE best dancer in the club and perform that awkward, sexy, hands all over body dance thinking you look like Rihanna when you actually look like David Brent.

18) You have taken your heels off.... and don't know where they are.

19) It takes ages to focus and usually involves closing one eye to half achieve some kind of normal vision.

20) You fall asleep, mouth open and snoring on the way home....or need the cab driver to pull over so you can throw up.

21) You fancy a kebab.

1 comment:

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