It is so easy to get caught up in the bad stuff isn't it? Work getting you down, money worries, lifestyle changes, weight problems and whatever else life throws at us, it can make you feel lousy can't it? There isn't anything wrong with having days where you feel you don't want to put on a smile. If you feel crap then feel it, there is nothing harder than faking it and all you are doing long term is masking the problems and making things more difficult. Even so, wallowing in the bad feelings long term isn't good for your wellbeing either.
I have been studying positive thinking and mind change recently for various reasons and have found it very helpful, eye opening and some of it bloody obvious! Being positive involves being honest with how you feel right now but also changing your outlook and how you deal with certain situations. Looking at the positive side to things straight away won't bring you down like focusing on the negatives will. It is hard, especially in certain situations such as a break up or the death of a loved one. Changing the way you think will do wonders for your outlook on the future and how you feel.
"It takes a change from you to see a change happen." - Unknown
So how do you look at the positives? I mean, someones just died for goodness sake! Whats positive in that? Right now, nothing. You are grieving so grieve. Dont deny those feelings it is as bad as wallowing in them however, one way to look at things is feeling happy you were lucky enough to know them. If they were elderly then be thankful they had a long life or if they had a long term illness be thankful they are no longer suffering.
Just had a bad break up? We are quick to blame ourselves when someone breaks up with us:
'I should have done more...'
'It's all my fault...'
'It's all my fault...'
Sound familiar? The truth is it takes two people to make a relationship work and if you were being yourself and contributing all you could then YOU DID DO ENOUGH. You are only human, you can't carry everything and do everything. We as humans are very quick to shoot ourselves down and focus on the negatives which only makes us feel worse, why not take a moment to think sensibly about the situation rather than assuming the worst?
'It must be me, I'm not good enough...'
You ARE good enough. You are unique and a good person, sometimes sadly things just don't work out how you planned.
What about if lots of things are going wrong? They say bad luck comes in threes and sometimes that is very true!
'Why does everything bad happen to me?'
Look at things realistically; yes things are tough right now but do bad things really ALWAYS happen to you? If you honestly look back over your life - your home, holidays you've had, weekend breaks, days and nights out, friends and family you have, memories, even the stuff you have bought for yourself or others you will realise that bad things don't always happen to you, it is just particularly bad at the moment. Sit down and logically decide how you can deal with your current situation and if it is out of your control DON'T WORRY anymore. It is easier said than done but if you can't change anything there is no point worrying. Tell yourself that things WILL get better and won't be this way forever.
Sometimes bad things happen and they just happen and sometimes bad things happen that bring good later on. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, even if it just to learn a hard lesson in life. If you are struggling with money and it keeps you up and you worry, when things are better and you are used to managing your money because of struggling it should make you more money savvy in the future. It will also make you appreciate when things are better.
When I was twenty four a friends of ours passed away, also twenty four. TWENTY FOUR. He was so full of life and did all sorts, he had done more with his life in twenty four years than some do in ninety four years: extreme sports, days out, holidays, travels, you name it. He was fun, kind and generous. It just isn't fair that he suddenly fell ill and was taken so young. What could possibly be positive about that? Well nothing. It is sad and it is unfair. The only lesson or 'positive' you can take is to enjoy life, live it to the max and dont let little worries bother you because all of a sudden it can be taken away from you. Live life to the full. My friend lived every day as though it was his last and sadly long before his time, it was. But he had made the most of his life. We should too. I feel honoured to have known him.
Learning to think in this mindset can help with depression and can make you feel more comfortable in your life and your own skin. No one in this world no matter who they may be are better than anyone else. We are all born alone and naked, we all die and we can't take our money, status or stuff with us when we do.
So when you wake up tomorrow morning, smile straight away and tell yourself you are going to have a good day. Your mind is a powerful tool, it controls everything in your body so send out big fat positive messages from it and you will feel more positive in yourself. On those days where you do feel down or stressed, don't deny yourself those feelings but be honest with loved ones around you. As they say; a problem shared and all that plus people will appreciate knowing what you are thinking rather than guessing what the problem is and worrying themselves.
I hope this has made sense and perhaps helped in some way. I also hope it hast come across like a lecture!! The last thing I want to do is lecture people about how to feel but if you feel like you want to make a change, try it out. Please let me know your thoughts. If you want to know more - search 'positive thinking' on YouTube for some great tips and advice.