Today's post is written by me, Nicki who blogs at...ummmm here!
When I think about the different friendships I have had, they read back as a colourful array of different characters - some good, some bad. Luckily most are good and many old faces I find myself thinking of make me smile and wonder what they are doing now however there are a fair few who still make me shudder when their face pops up in my brain.
Seriously, what is wrong with some people??!
Have you ever had a friendship which at the time, you feel it is impossible to get out of yet when you look back years later their behaviour was either so odd or erratic you kick yourself for putting up with it for so long?
I have had close friends who have turned out to be a bit odd (a lot odd) or just plain crazy (maybe it is me?).
One of my friends from childhood I ended up kind of 'breaking up' with because her behaviour drove me crazy, we had such fun when we went out on the town but she was selfish and self obsessed, she would ditch me for blokes at the drop of a hat, quite often leaving me on my own in bars without telling me she had gone and leaving me to find my own way home alone. She created and faked dramas and bad situations to make people feel sorry for her (including a pregnancy) Gah! Bad friend! Bad friend! In the end I said I didn't want to see her anymore. She cried of course, big crocodile tears and made out this was the worst thing ever to happen to her but safe to say it really wasn't the worst thing for me!
Another friend I have previously had got the hump with you over anything and everything and better yet, didn't tell you they had the hump oh no, you just suddenly don't hear from them for a while. You got the silent treatment. You never knew what you have done wrong and it is only when something memorable happened like getting married you realised they were not talking to you cos they hadn't got in touch to offer congrats.You're a good person and you know you don't set out to make enemies especially of friends so therefore know you haven't really done anything wrong you can think of, still it hurts you could have caused upset to your friend - until it happens for about the eighth time. You learnt quickly that the silence is over something trivial; you took too long to reply to a text or worse yet you got too busy in real life or your job to reply and so are now being snubbed. You couldnt make it out for drinks when invited as you already had plans - how very dare you. You are ill in bed with the flu and unable to make it out for their birthday party you had been so looking forward to - THAT warrants 'deleted from phone' snubbed! You get to a point where you actually find yourself contemplating sending a 'proof I am ill in bed selfie' to PROVE to your so called friend and then you realise maybe this friendship just ain't for you. This said friend stopped talking to me for some reason a while back - I realised when I had my baby and didn't hear from them - I know I haven't done anything wrong and am fed up of it now so really haven't got the energy to find out what's going on. I am a grown up, I haven't got time for this and if someone upsets me I tell them so we can sort it and move on. It's the best way in my eyes.
''She created and faked dramas and bad situations to make people feel sorry for her (including a pregnancy)''
How about the crazy friend?! Anyone had one of them? c'mon, hands up.
The kind that would be smiling to your face and telling how how 'gorge' you look whilst spiking your gin and tonic with eye drops? Oh maaan. This friend could be the worst, the top of the list. I felt a bit sorry for my cray cray friend I had been 'reunited' with through wonderful Facebook because she was having issues with her current group of friends so I invited her out with my lot - BIG MISTAKE. She latched onto one of my besties and would not let her go, if we went out without her (even after she had only been out with us once) she really got the hump (although at least she did have the balls to say it) she would call all of my friends her 'best friends' and talk about how great friends they were and be all 'urghmagad, look at us! how funny are we?' after just two times meeting them and she was touchy feely too - especially on the men; hugging them and touching their faces and whatever. She muscled in on all our group dramas and histories like she knew all about it and if you didn't reply to her texts within ten minutes you got another and another and another....and the only way to stop the texts was to reply. She was also MAN MAD not in a vamp kind of way in a 'I am desperate for a boyfriend' kind of way.
My friend she latched onto has always been super confident at talking to men, the complete opposite to this nutter and at first she used to be quite sweet with her 'I wish I was like you and could pull men just like you do' but then it got a bit whiney and then she not angry. She would get the raving hump if my friend bumped into someone she knew in a club and dared to talk to them. She got the hump if she met a bloke and hit it off - to be fair, that is rubbish if you go to a club as a twosome. It is defo not my idea of fun to play goooseberry and be left with their annoying mate while your friend snogs a blokes face off but if you insist on latching onto one person and only going out with them when you know there is a strong possibility she will get talking to a man, don't whine about it. Simples! Last we knew of her she got the hump with my friend and left her stranded in a nightclub - she had begged and begged her to come out but my friend insisted she was skint. Cray cray said she would pay for cabs to take the ease off and my friend scooped together enough funds for a few rounds and put her dancing shoes on. You see, this friend of mine isn't one to let people down, she hates being a let down in fact, if she says she will be there then she will so because she knew how much cray cray wanted a night out, she didn't want to let her down. Cray cray paid for the cab there as promised but kept sending my friend to the bar for drinks causing her funds to plummet quickly early in the night. When my friend made a point of saying it wasn't her round cray cray threw a major strop. My friend got talking to a work colleague at some point in the night and at that point cray cray said she was going to the loo and never came back. That was the last anyone saw of her. When we spoke about all this after my friend said she had never left her out when talking to men or friends, she would make sure she was standing alongside her so she could join in conversation and even look at her for input during the conversation but she would just stare back with an expression that can only be described as either a wife looking at her husband disapprovingly or a mum looking at their teenager with 'you're in trouble when we get home' eyes.
My friend got home but when she realised she was alone she realised she was quite drunk and vulnerable - she says it was the worst night out ever, she almost felt used. Cray cray had begged her to come out, made her buy drinks and encouraged her to have shots (I know we all have freedom of choice but at that age and because of how she was it was easier to say yes then have the agg of what came if you said no) then she had just dumped her for no reason. All I can think is in her head, each time she went out she thought it was going to be an amazing night and it never went how she envisioned. In her head she would look amazing, meet a great guy, dance the night away with him, he would love her wit and they would wander off into the sunset together (or to the kebab shop) and live happily ever after. But it never happened like that so she very quickly got fed up.
Before this night she had alienated other people in our group by being rude or nasty. She no doubt had confidence issues but she was so beyond help or reason we just didn't want to see her anymore. That was all about five years ago now and as much as we don't miss her I hope she has found happiness and even had her happy ever after.
Life however is much quieter without her.
Have you ever had bad friends?
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