Wednesday, 7 January 2015

LIFE | What is Positive Thinking and Mindfulness?

OK so telling you that one way to boost your outlook on life or your mood when you're depressed by simply thinking more positive seems like a given right? It almost seems patronising but it really does work and it is amazing how you will realise it is actually your negative thoughts that are bringing you down. It only takes simple changes and actions to improve your life and boost your mood which is good really isn't it? If they were impossible changes no one would make them. The key is sticking with them because you are ultimately working at changing your thought process forever, the thought process you have lived with for your whole life. You are now thinking against the grain or destroying the types of thoughts you usually have and replacing them with new ones - that, my friend, is the tricky part.

But, like anything in life it is worth the hard work and it is all about taking little tiny steps day by day rather than trying to make giant leaps, finding it all impossible and giving up.

Like someone with an addiction problem or an illness such as bulimia or anorexia, it is all about taking it one day at a time. That is all you can do, don't look ahead or overwhelm yourself with thoughts such as 'OH MY GOD I HAVE GOT TO DO THIS FOREVER' because you will scare yourself. No one knows what actually is 'forever' in our lives and what isn't, so just wake up each morning and focus on that particular day. Just doing that in itself is a big change for most people with depression or related mental illnesses because a lot of the time we do think ahead and panic about stuff that needs doing that week or a social event coming up at the weekend. I know my problem is I am always in my head, constantly thinking, wondering, worrying, pondering - you name it, I do it. Most people with anxiety will relate to this (and others I am sure!) but I over think EVERYTHING. If I have to go somewhere new - say for example, with the way my life is now a new mum and baby group with Savannah, I would constantly think about it and think about why I won't enjoy it and shouldn't go:

'You won't fit in with everyone'
'You have left it too late to join because Savannah is now 9 months and all the other babies and mums will be friends and you will be left out and so will Savannah'
'You don't know exactly where it is'
'Or how to get there'
'You might get lost and be late'
'If you walk in late, everyone will look at you and judge you'

Yes everyone, my identity has now been revealed.... I AM:

Mindfulness, positive thinking, depression, anxiety, nicki kinickie
*Sourced from Pinterest

Does this thought process sound familiar to you? There are no positive thoughts there whatsoever and straight away, barriers are being put up.I do this with everything in life from simply going to the shops to new jobs to social situations and it is even worse now I am a mum because if I know that if I need to go somewhere, I have to get the buggy out and in the boot, her bag ready, her in her car seat and carry to the car. If I think about it too much I find an excuse not to go out - terrible but true.If I don't give it a second thought though, I just do and ask no questions. It has been quite normal for me - when in the right frame of mind - to go out, get jobs done, come home,  make a cuppa and sit down for the first time all day and suddenly go 'BLIMEY, have I really done all that today / been here, there and there today?'

So, positive thinking, where do you start? What do you do? Well, you start from when you wake up! and what do you do? Be more aware of your thoughts and what you are telling yourself. If you are anything like me your thoughts are on a constant conveyor belt running through my mind and flowing through my body.

That's where this brilliant quote comes in:

quote, positive thinking, mindfulness, nicki kinickie
*Sourced from Pinterest


So so true isn't it? When we think negative thoughts we feel down, uninspired, lethargic and unhappy.

Wake up every morning and smile, tell yourself that today will be a good day and that you will do the best you possibly can. If you genuinely hate your job and find it hard to get motivated in the mornings then obviously that is something you need to address. It is hard to find a new job in this day and age than it was ten years ago but searching is better than not searching. It could take you a month to find something new or it could take you a year but it won't fall on your lap so look.In the meantime, make the most of your job now. Be thankful you are working and able to pay your bills and take a positive approach towards each day and the people you work with. You may even find that you grow to like it!

Hate your boss? Who doesn't? Would you like your boss in the next job any more?
The work is mundane? Well, again you may feel like that in the next job you do. Maybe you need to look at a career change or even into training for something else that you feel more passionate about?

Yes, working is horrible and rubbish and we all hate the alarm going off and waking us up and the journey to work and work itself but we all spend a substantial amount of time there so it is best to make the most of it isn't it? Ignore the office gossip and avoid the negative people who like to stir and make people feel crap about themselves or their work ability. Spend more time doing the best you can in your job role and you will fell a lot better about yourself. It probably won't go unnoticed too.

You will have days where you don't always think positively or feel down - allow yourself that, it is like anything in life we sometimes steer off the course but just make sure you go to bed and a decent time, get a good nights sleep and wake up feeling fresh and new - every new day is a new beginning.

Over time you will find you are able to deal with stressful or upsetting situations a lot better. Life throws shit at us - all of us, every single person on the planet goes through hard times and it is down to us to try and deal with it as best we can and I think that is positively.

Yes, that can seem impossible if a loved one has just passed away or you have lost your job or have a huge unexpected bill that you can't afford. Life can be unfair / devastating / frightening / woeful / painful / upsetting / frustrating and much more but we need to remember that we won't feel this way forever.

Would that loved one want you to wallow or would they encourage you to pick yourself up again? Why not remember the good times and be thankful that you knew them / were related to them / they lived to a good age rather than remind yourself that they are gone. It all sounds so cold and regimental but it really works. I am not saying don't grieve because that of course is not healthy at all. Cry, scream and do whatever you need to make yourself feel better. But then make yourself laugh, lighten up, remind yourself that things will be better again.

This is mindfulness.



In the 'Positive Thinking / Mindfulness' section of my blog I will share my experiences  - good and bad - with you as well as give tips and advice on positive thinking and mindfulness. I will also share my favourite positive quotes because I find that browsing these on a regular basis really help to boost my mood, confidence and enthusiasm.

This page can be found at the top of my blog.


6 comments:

  1. This is great! I've just started a regular blog series called Mindful Mondays and this explains the concept perfectly. I'll be sharing this all over the place! Lisa x

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    1. Thank you for sharing! Will be sure to read your Mindful Monday series too. Think it is great to spread the message that positive thinking is the way forward! :) xx

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  2. Completely agree with you on 'positive thinking.' Know your thoughts and take complete control of it- to know yourself better.
    I also write articles on 'positive thinking.' If you feel like; visit me @ epsita.blogspot.com. We can follow each other too on the social network sites. Great post!!

    Love
    Epsita

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    1. Thanks Epsita, another blogger writing about positive thinking! So good to see! It really benefits your health and wellbeing. Will be sure to read your blog to read your take on it all. xx

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  3. I really love this! Thanks so much for writing it. It's hard to stay positive sometimes when life gets really tough and difficult, but you are absolutely right that doing your best to keep a positive outlook and attitude will change your life a lot. It can be hard and sometimes it even feels fake if you are really down, but in the end it really is worth the positive thinking :) Love this!!

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    1. You are very welcome, thanks for reading and commenting! It really is hard, sometimes I have days where i'm just down for no reason and can't shake it no matter what - hate that! sometimes I have a bad day or week where one thing after another goes wrong or you receive bad news - those are the times that test you! But I always try and remember that worrying will never change the outcome. It is definitely worth it!! :) xx

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Nicki

xx